My ex boyfriend and me dated for 14mos. things were going really good until he told me he wanted to take a break and that we could be friends with benefits. And now a couple weeks later he has a new girlfriend. so i don’t know what i should do. i mean i love him and i just need a little help as to what to do. should i wait for him or just move on?.
Relationships can be a very tricky thing for the fact that they are so different depending on the people and situation involved. What works for one couple may not work for another. The confusion you are feeling is completely normal and to be expected. You and your boyfriend were together for over a year, so I think it is pretty safe to assume that over that span of time a strong connection was developed. Losing any type of relationship, whether it be a friendship or a romantic relationship, is a really tough thing for anyone to deal with, so don’t feel like you are alone in this! I am not able to provide you with a clear cut answer on what you should do, but what I can do is offer you some questions that you can ponder to hopefully help in making a confident decision that is right for you at this time, and most importantly, one that you can be happy with. Your health and happiness is most important and should be top priority!
You mentioned in your comment that things were going “really good” up until the point that your boyfriend wanted a break. Did he feel the same way about your relationship? Did he tell you of any particular reason for wanting a break? If not, this is a conversation you may want to have with your ex when deciding whether or not you want to date again in the future. Figuring out whether you both are on the same page or not in terms of the relationshp is important in deciding what to do next. You said that your ex got a new girlfriend shortly after taking a break from the relationship. Is this something you think would happen again if you started dating in the future? And if so, are you okay with that? Only you know what you are comfortable with and how you expect and want a relationship to work. If you are unsure on what a healthy relationship looks like, I would really recommend checking out the website link I put on this blog. Some other things to consider are whether or not you and your ex had an established friendship prior to dating. Is this an “all-or-nothing” thing for you or are you content with just being friends with your ex? Ultimately, figuring out where you and your ex stand in terms of your previous relationship and possible future relationship, will be very helpful in deciding where to go from here. You could also make a pro’s and con’s list to help you weigh out your options. I wish you all the luck in making a decision. Remember that you can always call the YouthLine, which is 24/7. Teenagers are available to answer calls Monday through Friday from 2-7 pm.
Here is the link to the website I posted on the original blog: